Do you ever, when you’ve got something big looming on the horizon, try to distract yourself by finding other things on which to concentrate? It’s a favourite tactic of mine, and one at which I’ve had a little help lately.
See, this Friday (as in the 27th of June, as in three days from now) I will be taking the final, comprehensive exam for my masters degree. On a purely intellectual level, it really isn’t that big a deal. Three essays in four hours? No problem. I’ve written simillar tests before (the advantage of having been an English major) and have been studying not just hard, but smart: organized, methodical. Slow and steady wins the race, and I’ve been shoring up my personal angle of repose ever since the beginning of May.
But then last week arrived and things just went wonky. Fathers’ Day and my birthday — both of which were lovely — a very close friend in need of a shoulder, and a job interview all conspired to add up to some added stress and a messed-up sleep schedule.
I had thought I’d recover fairly quickly, but I haven’t been able to get back onto a good sleep schedule and yesterday was fuzzy-brained all day long. Maybe all the nerves and energy I’d been saving for comps went into the job interview. Maybe this is my brain’s attempt at keeping me from cramming these last few days. Maybe it’ll all be fine by Friday morning.
No matter how many people tell me that I’ll do fine — and I do appreciate each and every one of them, because it’s awfully nice to hear — there’s a part of me that is prepared to fail. That probably sounds deafeatist, but the truth is that I’ve failed before. Life doesn’t turn out the way we plan: graduate school’s a disaster because we’re too young and naive to know what we’re getting into; a place we love isn’t destined to be the place in which we live; jobs that seem perfect simply aren’t.
So I have a plan ready in the event I need to take comps again next semester. I know what class I’d take and I’ve got a rough study outline drawn up. Just in case. Because I’d rather have that plan ready and not needed, than needed and not in place.
Anyway, this is turning into a rather gloomy post, which wasn’t my intent. It’s also rather misleading because I know I know this stuff. Everything I need to do well on comps is already tucked away in my head, so what actually needs to happen is to get rid of the feeling that I might be missing something by not reading just one more article (wafer-thin, of course). Any reading I do at this point is more to keep my mind sharp than to learn something new.
(cross-posted at my other blog)
June 24, 2008 at 8:11 am
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June 24, 2008 at 8:32 am
Kirsten,
You’re not only going to do fine, you’re going to do Fantastic! Hit one out of the ballpark, in fact.
You’re highly intelligent. You write beautifully. And, as you say, you’ve already got all you need “tucked away in [your] head.” (wish I could say the same)
Sleep-deprived or no, let’s limp across the finish line together
June 24, 2008 at 9:37 am
I have all the faith in the world in you.
But having a backup plan is also a good idea; just one reason why I believe in you.
June 24, 2008 at 9:46 am
Hee! Pictured us as a three-legged-race team, stumbling toward a wide yellow ribbon, the rest of the comps-taking folks fanned out to either side hopping along in potato sacks!
Does anybody still do potato sack races?
Oh, and I’ve no doubt that you already know all this stuff, too. Those info seeking theories don’t stick well in abstract, but we’ve been using them all along, in shorthand and practical examples, throughout the program.
The question might really be whether I’m capable of writing comps essays without linking to gratuitous Monty Python skits.
June 24, 2008 at 9:48 am
Thanks, Mark!
June 24, 2008 at 10:29 am
I’m hoping to temper my tendency towards tongue-in-cheek, as well.
Whatever occurs, here’s to a high tolerance level amongst the graders (especially given that they’re likely not going to Anaheim due to this tedious assignment).
June 24, 2008 at 11:20 am
A job interview!! What kind of job and where? How’d it go? So much more exciting than worrying about comps. Trust me, if I can pass comps, you miss smarty pants can pass it and too if you can write a paragraph that both makes sense AND is in English you’re going to be fine! Plus I’ve heard that orals are a breeze even if you do have to explain or expound on an answer. So any other prospects on the job front?
June 24, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Heh — was wondering whether anyone would pick up on the interview reference. No other prospects at the moment, Megan, but the one is pretty darn good and I felt very comfortable at the interview.
Don’t want to say too much, but it’s at a special library in OKC, and the position is a jack-of-all-trades sort of thing, with reference, instruction, and collection development being the biggies.
Unfortunately they’re interviewing a lot of people, so it’ll be the end of July before I hear anything.
June 24, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Linda: I’d wondered about the comps/ALA timing, but only one faculty member is needed to proctor. Wonder whether they start grading same-day, or if they’ll put it off to allow ALA attendance.
June 24, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I caught the interview reference but usually folks don’t say much before they can, and if the can they do, so I left it be.
Was glad to read it, though.
June 26, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Good luck. As for linking to gratuitous Monty Python skits, if you can support your linkage, you’ll probably be fine. One thing I learned on my Masters’ comps is they want you to support your answers while incorporating what you’ve learned. If you can use it in a way your instructor can follow, you should be fine. In fact, at least in my field (adult education) at my university, putting my own twist on things seemed to be a plus.
FWIW, I failed one of my comps. A brief review with the instructor, retake a different exam, and I was done. I wasn’t delighted about it, but it wasn’t particularly painful either.